Win your child’s heart, not a lawsuit: Judge’s emotional plea to estranged parents

Anantnag, Aug 3: In a stirring courtroom moment that arose above legal procedure, a judge in south Kashmir’s Anantnag district delivered a heartfelt plea to feuding parents: “Choose love over litigation.”

District and Sessions Judge Anantnag, Tahir Khurshid Raina, ruling under the Guardian and Wards Act in a heated custody case, urged the estranged couple to stop treating their child as a “prize” in a “tug of war” and instead embrace compassion and patience.

“Don’t try to win the child through litigation,” the judge told the father. “Win him with your patience and unconditional love. Let him grow in the lap and love of the mother, with your sincere, un-disturbing affection.”

The court said that the young boy had become “a bone of contention,” caught between parents driven by “false egos, intolerance, and illiteracy,” and reduced to “a chattel-a ball shuttled between two adversaries.”

Assuming the role of the Parens patriae, or guardian of the child’s welfare, Judge Raina said the father’s controlling behaviour had left the child deeply distressed and full of “absolute hatred” toward him.

“This court cannot compel a child to meet someone he doesn’t want to,” the judge said. “That would be a form of psychological torture.”

Raina said the father’s attempts to dominate decisions about the child’s schooling and daily life revealed “an arrogant approach” that had only widened the emotional rift.

“Fatherhood is not just a biological bond,” he said. “It is emotional and moral. It involves sacrifices, tough decisions, and unconditional love.”

The court praised the mother for her cooperation, describing her as someone who had “shown a positive response,” and urged her to become “a bridge of love, not a wall of hatred.”

In a rare move, the judge also addressed the father’s attorney directly: “Convince your client to wait and remain patient. Let his efforts bring peace, not disruption to the child’s life.”

Outside the courtroom, lawyers of the warring party said they had heard the message.

“We respect the court’s sentiments and will advise our clients to prioritise the emotional well-being of the child,” they said.

The lawyers across Kashmir also welcomed the decision, calling it “a humane judgment that opens a door to healing over hostility.”

“Some rulings touch the law, others touch the soul,” said Advocate Suhail Haqani, one of the senior criminal lawyers in District Court Anantnag.

The judge closed the ruling with a message of hope: “This court wishes the broken family reunites, and the child becomes a bridge between his parents, growing, blooming, and one day fulfilling his dream of becoming a judge.”