When silence speaks louder than divorce

What is scarier than a loud couple screaming at each other? It’s just two people sitting in complete silence at the dinner table, chewing chapati like it’s a job interview. This is the world of silent divorce, where couples are not technically on record as being divorced but it’s game over emotionally. All appears to be well at first glance-shared Netflix account, family WhatsApp group, Diwali selfies. But the reality, in fact, is living with zombies from romance films. No drama, unrequited affection, only two people sharing a house like well-mannered ghosts.

It’s the same as being single but with joint tax filing. There are no shouting and slamming of doors—just one-word answers, mysterious sighs, and emotional wi-fi on permanent airplane mode. Basically, the spark has left the building...without anyone knowing or even worse, acknowledging it and going, “Meh.” No more late-night pillow talk. Simply: “Did you pay the electricity bill?” “Hmm.”

To tell the truth, life is difficult, and so relationships. They can be compared to solving a Rubik’s cube while blindfolded and holding a crying baby in one hand and an inbox full of emails from your boss on the other. When couples have to deal with the mess that stains their lives, work becomes stressful, traffic jams become a big bother, EMI goes off in their mind, toddlers keep screaming, they snooze alarms, surprise visitors flow in and out in the name of in-laws…Whew! Good-bye, good morning would be perhaps all they would recall. That is how conversations drift to work or chores. Now, let’s talk about intimacy: That would mean, “Not now; I have a migraine... again.”

Among the metro cities of India, silent divorce has gained prevalence more than what should be acknowledged. The fast-paced life of a city is primarily dominated by people running from one meeting to another, while relationships almost take a back seat. In cities like Mumbai, Delhi, and Bengaluru, couples face bumper-to-bumper traffic, struggle with demanding careers, and try to cope with the high cost of living. A recent survey claims that in these metro cities, 45% of married couples feel emotionally detached, although they live together under the same roof. The fact that almost 60% of couples believe ‘work stress’ is the top-notch killer of a relationship speaks volumes about how these cities, with their opportunities, almost take away any time or emotional energy left in us to nurture a relationship. Couple that with the pressure to maintain a ‘perfect’ image on social media, and the upshot is emotional neglect. Little wonder that love, in the fast-paced urban jungles, some-how takes a back seat.

Smartphones deserve a mention. Nowadays, couples have a quality time investment of Instagram reels over their partner. I mean, who would not want to blame love for checking-out to Goa? The Silent But Deadly Strategy. Silent divorce is like mental constipation. Nothing hurts so much but something feels terribly off. You don’t even fight with one another-but you don’t really feel much either. Just draw breath. Almost like office colleagues who accidentally got married 12 years ago. And people get stuck- because a divorce sounds scary, like really scary, so they stay married for the kids, for society, or worse... for the family WhatsApp group that will explode if they ever get separated. But guess what? The kids aren’t idiots. Kids can tell when “Mumma and Papa” are basically flatmates sharing a grocery list.

What is the Cure then? Speak, Not small talk. Not even talk such as “pass the ketchup.” Real, messy discussions of the type, “hey I miss us.” Yeah, it’s awkward. Yes, it might feel a bit like trying to revive a dying fish. But hey, it’s better than letting love go bad in the fridge next to that suspicious container of leftover dal. And: laugh more. Go out. Do silly stuff. Try something new. Maybe therapy (that’s not just for celebrities). Or just turn off your phones for one night and have a stare contest until you remember why you liked this human in the first place. Finally, Don’t Be a Zombie in Love. It’s not just Wi-Fi and dividing laundry chores. Sharing your brain, jokes, and chaos with the other person. Silence does not create a polite roommate situation. Talk. Love. Fight (a little). Hug. Scream. Laughter until someone snorts. Because as they say, a couple that memes together, dreams together.