Values over Vehicles

The recent tragic road accident in Srinagar, involving an SUV driven recklessly by a schoolboy, has left two young lives lost and another clinging to life in an ICU. Words fail to express the shock and trauma their parents must be going through. It is horrific and tormenting.

The visuals from the crash, spine-chilling and heart-wrenching, have reignited a critical discussion about road safety and responsibility. And the roles of different stakeholders—schools, traffic authorities, and most importantly, parents. Despite a road safety awareness event organized by the deceased boys’ school in September 2024, featuring the SSP Traffic Police interacting with young students, such tragedies still persist. Even more ironic is the fact that one of the SUVs involved in this reckless race had been a repeat offender, with four prior challans and a history of counseling for the owner. This raises a glaring question: where is the system failing, and what role do parents play in this alarming narrative?

While schools and traffic authorities have a crucial role in spreading awareness and enforcing rules, the foundation of a child’s behavior is laid at home. As parents, we must introspect earnestly. What values are we imparting to our children? Are we equipping them with discipline, respect for the law and an understanding of life’s fragility? Or are we inadvertently indulging them to a degree that puts them—and others—at risk? Responding to this dreadful incident, Mirwaiz Umar Farooq in his Friday sermon aptly stated that saying “no” to certain demands of children is not just responsible parenting but also a moral and religious duty. This principle should be the cornerstone of modern parenting. It is not about depriving our children. It is but about gifting them a life grounded in values and discipline, ensuring they know the weight of their actions.

A teacher at a recent parent-teacher meet shared a shocking observation. She said that when mobile phones of students are confiscated by school, parents often provide their wards with even more expensive ones within days. This alarming trend reflects a culture of overindulgence, eroding a child’s ability to recognize boundaries and face consequences. In today’s materialistic world, the urge to provide “everything” to our children often blinds us to what is truly appropriate for their age and developmental needs. Parents believe material objects can compensate for their parenting. By succumbing to their unreasonable demands, parents neglectfully convey to them that rules can be bent, consequences avoided and desires fulfilled without effort or responsibility. This mindset, when unchecked, spills onto the road, literally and metaphorically. Children must realize that money doesn’t come easily. Involve them in small chores or tasks that give them a sense of earning and saving. This instills a sense of responsibility and deters reckless behavior fueled by unearned privileges. Avoid giving children costly gadgets, vehicles or items that are unsuitable for their age. For instance, a two-wheeler or four-wheeler in the hands of a school student is a disaster waiting to happen.

Rich or not-so-rich families should refrain from setting wrong benchmarks of gratification in society. Teach children to value what they have instead of constantly comparing themselves with peers. This discourages a competitive race of indulgence among parents and their children. Refusing unreasonable demands is not being harsh—it’s being wise. Let children understand that some things are denied for their own good and for the betterment of society. Children learn more from what parents do than what they say. Respect traffic rules, avoid mobile use while driving and never indulge in reckless behavior on the road. Engage children in discussions about road safety and show them the consequences of negligence through real-life examples. This can have a lasting impact on their attitudes and behaviors.

While parents are the primary influencers, school and traffic authorities must reinforce road safety. Schools should strictly monitor students’ behavior and reprimand those who break rules. Authorities, too, must adopt a zero-tolerance for violations. Heavier penalties for underage drivers, and stricter action against vehicle owners, who not only allow but encourage minors to drive, are vital. Additionally, using technology like dash cams and GPS tracking can help monitor and deter reckless driving. Two-wheelers for minors should be discouraged as these are often tools for stunts and racing among school children, posing significant risks. Helmet and seatbelt laws should be enforced and violators must face strict penalties. The dangerous practice of using mobile use while driving also calls for stringent fines and awareness campaigns.

Eventually, the responsibility for preventing such tragedies lies mainly with parents. Our children are a reflection of us. The loss of young lives on the roads is not just a failure of the system but a collective societal failure. It is time we prioritize gifting our children values over vehicles, discipline over indulgence and life over luxury.