Societal deviation and its consequences
As I sat in my OPD, listening to the distressing story of a young woman, I was left speechless and shaken. This brilliant individual, with a Master's degree and a coveted Junior Research Fellowship, had been thrust into the depths of anxiety and depression by the very society that was supposed to uplift her.
Her tale was one of deception and betrayal, perpetuated by a suitor from a wealthy family who had callously rejected her after a Nikkah ceremony, citing his own psychiatric issues as an excuse. This egregious behavior was not only a personal betrayal but also a stark reflection of our society's decay.
As the girl poignantly asked, "What has this society given me? Why this pain, this helplessness, these social taboos?" Her words resonated deeply, and I couldn't help but question myself.
As Muslims, we pride ourselves on the respect and position given to women in Islam. Yet, in our society, money and materialism seem to have taken precedence over human values and emotions. A boy from a wealthy family can reject multiple girls, without any regard for their feelings or self-worth. Without realising how parents nurture their daughters with love and care and the pain these rejections inflict.
I recognise that the process of selecting a bride or groom inevitably involves rejections and acceptances. However, it's crucial to handle these matters with utmost sensitivity. Unfortunately, a disturbing trend has become commonplace in our society: promising marriage, only to abruptly call off the wedding or nikah. This behaviour is not only inhumane but also causes immense emotional distress. It is essential to address this issue with compassion and understanding.
We, as a society, have strayed far from the values of compassion, empathy, and respect. We prioritise material wealth over human worth, allowing individuals like this young woman's suitor to devalue and discard others at whim. The pain and helplessness she feels are a direct result of our collective failure to instil emotional intelligence and human values in our children.
We need to recognise the devastating impact of our actions and change our approach. We must nurture our children with empathy, respect, and values, ensuring they understand the gravity of their words and actions.
The rejection of a marriage proposal, often done without consideration or compassion, leaves deep scars on the individual. We must acknowledge the hurt we inflict and work towards creating a society that values human life and dignity above all else. The spark of neglect, if left unaddressed, will indeed burn our house down.
Let us come together to revive the values that once defined us as a compassionate and just society. Let us ensure that our children grow up to respect human emotions and values, and that we, as a collective, uphold the dignity of every individual.
Dr Mohammad Younis Dar, Medical Officer, Shopian Block
