Sibling Rivalry and its Impact on Senior Citizens

One evening, as Ghulam Nabi’s family gathered around the dinner table, a dispute erupted between his sons, Rizwan and Muneeb, over the custody of the ancestral shop.

What started as a minor disagreement quickly escalated into a heated argument, marked by shouting and tears. Despite their efforts to foster harmony, sibling rivalry occasionally surfaced in the household.

Ghulam Nabi and his wife exchanged worried glances as they tried to calm the situation, but their attempts were futile as the adult children continued to bicker. The once-peaceful dinner atmosphere shattered, replaced by tension and frustration. The ongoing quarrel took its toll on the elderly parents, leaving them emotionally and mentally drained.

Feeling overwhelmed and stressed, they struggled to enjoy the simple joys of family life. Despite their efforts to maintain unity, the children’s conflicts strained their relationship as well, leading to more frequent arguments. In response, the parents resolved to address the underlying issues and implemented new conflict resolution strategies, emphasizing empathy and understanding.

Slowly, the atmosphere improved, and Rizwan and Muneeb learned to navigate their differences more constructively, restoring peace to the household. Grateful for weathering the storm together, the elderly couple vowed to cherish moments of harmony, recognizing the toll that sibling quarrels can take on a family.

Through patience, perseverance, and unconditional love, they emerged stronger, ready to confront future challenges as a united family. This story underscores the emotional strain parents endure during their children’s disputes and highlights the importance of effective communication and maintaining family unity.

The emotional strain that parents experience when their children quarrel can be profound and multifaceted. Here’s a deeper exploration of some of the emotions parents may go through:

Frustration: Senior Citizens often feel frustrated when their children argue, especially if it’s a recurring issue. They may feel like they’re unable to effectively resolve the conflict or teach their children how to get along.

Helplessness: Watching their children quarrel can leave senior citizens feeling helpless, particularly if they’re unable to intervene successfully or if they’re unsure of the best approach to take.

Guilt: Senior Citizens may experience feelings of guilt, wondering if they’ve somehow contributed to their children’s conflict or if they’re failing as parents by not being able to prevent it.

Anxiety: The constant tension and conflict in the household can lead to feelings of anxiety for senior citizens. They may worry about the long-term effects on their children’s relationship, as well as the impact on the family dynamic as a whole.

Sadness: Witnessing their children argue and fight can be emotionally draining for senior citizens, leading to feelings of sadness or disappointment. They may long for a more peaceful and harmonious family environment.

Anger: Senior citizens may also experience feelings of anger, either towards their children for their behaviour or towards themselves for not being able to handle the situation better.

Stress: Dealing with on-going conflict between children can be incredibly stressful for senior citizens , especially if it disrupts other aspects of their lives such as work or relationships.

Loneliness: Senior citizens may feel isolated or lonely when they’re unable to connect with their children due to ongoing conflict. They may long for a sense of unity and closeness within the family.

Desperation: In some cases, senior citizens may feel desperate to find a solution to the conflict, trying everything they can think of to bring peace to the household.

Resentment: Over time, if the issue persists, senior citizens may begin to feel resentful towards their children or towards each other for not being able to resolve the conflict sooner.

Overall, the emotional strain of dealing with children’s quarrels can be intense and draining for senior citizens. It’s important for senior citizens to practice self-care, seek support from others, and explore effective strategies for managing conflict within the family. 

Dr Showkat Rashid Wani is a Senior Coordinator, Directorate of Distance Education, University of Kashmir 

(Note: Names in this article may not be real)