Resilience was her legacy

My beloved mother was educated, witty, disciplined, a homemaker, and carried herself with grace, always wearing a gentle smile. The 15th of September marks her first death anniversary, the day she lost her battle with lung cancer.

When we think of lung cancer, classical symptoms such as persistent cough and bloody sputum often come to mind. Yet, my mother never had either. Obviously she was a non-smoker. Ironically she was health conscious and would give health tips to others. Her only complaints were fatigue and occasional episodes of suffocation. Because she also suffered from a long-standing spine problem and heart issues, her cancer symptoms were overlooked both by her family and by doctors. We were preparing her for spine surgery when during a pre-anesthetic X-ray on 7th November 2023, an abnormal mass was found in her chest. The biopsy revealed it to be Small Cell Lung Cancer (SCLC).

From that moment, my mother showed remarkable resilience. She discussed her illness and treatment options openly with doctors in Delhi, who described her as a “cheerful and resilient lady from Kashmir.” Unlike many who despair in the face of cancer, she never gave up hope. She was willing to undergo any medical procedure to prolong her life. Chemotherapy brought its own trauma, including hair loss that required her head to be shaved — a deeply emotional moment for her. Yet, she endured it all with courage and dignity.

Not all cancers are the same; some are curable while others are unforgiving. In her case, surgery was not possible. Chemotherapy initially worked, but the disease returned, and even expensive immunotherapy could not halt its progression. She often suffered from suffocation and became dependent on an oxygen concentrator. At SKIMS, doctors were hesitant to shift her to the ICU, as beds were reserved for patients with some hope of recovery. That realization — that her case was beyond saving — was a heartbreaking moment for us, her caregivers.

Eventually, doctors advised us to take her home, as all treatment options had been exhausted and death was inevitable. With no specialized facilities for terminally ill patients in Kashmir, we cared for her at home. Bedridden for several days, she finally passed away on 15th September 2024, at the age of 62.

It is said that sickness expiates sins. We take solace in believing that her suffering has paved the way for eternal peace. More than anything, her journey taught us that true resilience lies not in conquering death, but in facing adversity with grace, courage, and hope. That resilience is her legacy.