Reconnecting with our Roots

Once upon a time, there was an old man named Shameem. He had spent his whole life taking care of his family, especially his wife Maryam. Despite facing many challenges, Shameem always showed love and resilience towards Maryam. However, as they grew older, Shameem noticed Maryam becoming distant and spending less time with him. At first, Shameem thought it was just a normal part of aging, but as time went on, he felt more and more alone. Maryam stopped cooking his favorite meals and didn’t seem interested in spending time together anymore. Despite his efforts to reconnect with her, Shameem felt neglected and sad.

Eventually, Shameem decided to talk to Maryam about how he was feeling. He poured out his heart to her, hoping to bring back the closeness they once shared. Maryam listened and apologized for neglecting him, explaining that she had been struggling with her own issues. They both realized they needed to make more of an effort to spend time together and show each other love and kindness. Slowly but surely, they started to rebuild their relationship and find happiness again.

In another part of town, there was an elderly woman named Fatima. She used to be independent and full of life, but as she got older, her family seemed to forget about her. Fatima’s children were busy with their own lives and rarely visited her, leaving her feeling lonely and abandoned. Despite her struggles, Fatima didn’t want to burden her children with her problems.

One day, Fatima fell while trying to carry groceries home, and a kind neighbor came to her rescue. The neighbor reached out to Fatima’s children, urging them to reconnect with their mother. Realizing their mistake, Fatima’s children apologized and started spending more time with her. They helped her with chores and took her out, and soon, Fatima’s home was filled with love and laughter once again.

Despite the years of loneliness, Fatima forgave her children and cherished the chance to rebuild their relationship. With their renewed bond, Fatima found happiness and contentment in the simple joys of family. Reconnecting with neglected seniors can be a meaningful and rewarding experience for both parties involved. Here are some steps you can take to reconnect:

1. Acknowledge Past Mistakes:

Take responsibility for any past mistakes or shortcomings that may have contributed to the damaged relationship. Acknowledging these issues shows humility and opens the door for healing.

2. Express Regret and Apologize:

Offer a sincere apology to your elders for any hurt or pain you may have caused them in the past. Expressing regret demonstrates that you recognize the impact of your actions and are genuinely sorry for any harm caused.

3. Listen with Empathy:

Practice active listening when your seniors express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Show empathy by validating their emotions and demonstrating a genuine desire to understand their perspective.

4. Show Affection and Support:

Express love, affection, and support for your seniors in both words and actions. Let them know that you care about their well-being and are there to support them, regardless of any past conflicts.

5. Be Patient and Persistent:

Rebuilding a damaged relationship takes time, patience, and persistence. Be prepared for setbacks along the way and continue to demonstrate your commitment to repairing the relationship, even if progress is slow.

6. Offer Assistance:

Offer practical assistance if needed, such as helping with household tasks, running errands, or providing transportation to appointments. Showing your willingness to help can strengthen the bond between you.

7. Start Small:

Begin by reaching out in small ways, such as sending a card, making a phone call, or scheduling a brief visit. Respect their boundaries and comfort level, and be patient if they are hesitant to reconnect.

8. Reach Out with Empathy:

Approach the elder with empathy and understanding. Acknowledge any past neglect or misunderstandings, and express genuine concern for their well-being. Let them know that you would like to rebuild the relationship.

9. Start Small:

Begin by reaching out in small ways, such as sending a card, making a phone call, or scheduling a brief visit. Respect their boundaries and comfort level, and be patient if they are hesitant to reconnect.

10. Create Shared Activities:

Plan and participate in activities that you both enjoy. This could include taking walks, cooking together, playing games, or simply spending time talking and reminiscing.

11. Involve Them in Family Events:

Include the elder in family events and gatherings to help them feel connected and valued. Encourage other family members to reach out and reconnect as well.

Dr Showkat Rashid Wani is a Senior Coordinator, Directorate of Distance Education, University of Kashmir

(Names in the article may not be real)