Paradox of Modern Relationships

Yasir Altaf Zargar

In the ever-evolving landscape of human connections, the advent of social media has brought a massive change, bringing us closer than ever before. Gone are the days when the exchange of information took months, sometimes more than that. Yet, as we embrace the convenience of virtual closeness, there is a poignant realization that our relationships have tasted very different– a bittersweet metamorphosis. We have lost the bonding that used to connect us.

Once upon a time, communication spanned kilometres and relied on the rhythmic hum of (Mataedar) Mahindra buses. A person visiting relatives would convey either the affliction of sorrow or the ecstasy of happiness. Letters were the messengers of sentiments, and telephones were a luxury reserved for the elite. In those days, a message to a relative 20 kilometres away held the weight of effort and anticipation. There was a simplicity, a sweetness that lingered in the bonds formed across the miles. Such was the simplicity that one used to enjoy each moment spent with the relative who used to visit us after a long time. Long conversations, jokes, everything that is presently missing.

Social media has woven a web of connections, rendering geographical distances inconsequential. Although we are close, closer than ever before, the taste in the relationship is missing. The ritual of sharing our regular activities through selfies and snaps has become a cultural norm, a digital exhibition of our joys and triumphs. Yet, amidst the likes and comments, tweets and retweets, shares and reshares, a subtle bitterness seeps into the essence of our relationships.

In the era of Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, threads, and other social apps, instantaneous sharing has spoiled the taste of making memories. We have lost the authenticity of what we used to call memories in the past. Currently, memories are just a reflection of fakery. A photograph captured in the past was a frozen moment of genuine emotion, a testament to the bonds formed. However, today’s snapshots, the bitterness of reels shared with the world in an instant, lack the depth and sincerity that once defined our connections and bonding.

In today’s era, we come to know about births and deaths of near and dear ones on social media. However, the physical contact that is a prerequisite for the survival and flourishing of relationships has disappeared. When one deeply peers into reality, only formalities of wishing on social media are left behind. The reality is that a like on a post on FB or any other social media platform can’t replace a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

In a recent family gathering, we tried to capture a moment, but the resulting snapshot seemed strangely devoid of the warmth one would expect from a captured memory. It served as a microcosm of a broader shift – a picture-perfect facade rather than a celebration of shared experiences and the bonding that relationships should embody. The picture lacked the essence of true bonding and the imperfections that make a memory truly meaningful. It conveyed a sense that we are more focused on showcasing to the world with reels, snaps, and other virtual stuff rather than sharing emotions and bonds together.

Aunts and uncles, once pillars of familial support, are reduced to mere acquaintances defined by a Facebook status. The closeness we proclaim is overshadowed by a sense of detachment, a superficial connection that lacks the richness of shared experiences. It’s a paradox – we are closer than ever, yet the bindings that once held us together have unravelled. The taste of relationships has turned bitter, tainted by the persistent need for validation and the pressure to present a curated version of our lives. The sweetness that lingered in handwritten letters and shared moments captured on film has been replaced by a bitter aftertaste of comparison, competition, and the ever-present fear of missing out.

As we navigate this digital landscape, it’s crucial to reflect on what truly matters in our relationships. The world may be closer than the breath we inhale, but it’s essential to ensure that the air we share is not polluted by the toxicity of shallow connections and artificial bonds. In a society dominated by the allure of virtual closeness, let us strive to rediscover the authenticity and sweetness that once defined the tapestry of our relationships.

The author is currently working with J&K Bank on Rural Self-Employment.