Our Elders and Their Neighbors
Kashmir, often referred to as the land of breathtaking beauty, serves as the perfect place for inspiring narratives of wisdom and wit. The region boasts a rich legacy of our elders’ remarkable success stories—not only in skill, hard work, and patience but also in farsightedness, unrighteousness, generosity, brotherhood and communal harmony, etc. Our elders, whose life was not like ours, were incredibly virtuous and treated their neighbors fairly well. Being quite good at heart, practical, and charitable—they believed living in simple manner and high thinking.
Our elders always prioritized their neighbors because they knew that when any misfortune hits them, it's their neighbor who comes to rescue them first, relatives arrive later. They followed what their Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has said. He (SAW) placed great emphasis on the importance of treating neighbors well and respecting their rights. He (bpuh) emphasized that those who believe in Allah and the Last Day, should treat their neighbors with kindness and respect and encouraged actions like sharing food and ensuring the neighbor's safety from harm.
He (pbuh) has said that he is not a believer whose neighbor is not secure from his harm." And, "If you cook some soup, add extra water and send some to your neighbor," the Prophet also said. But how ironical! At present, we are good to strangers and friends, but not to our neighbors and relatives. A stranger feels safe with us but a neighbor always feels insecure. Our relationships with strangers and friends have become so intimate and tight that we are always ready to shed blood for them. But when it comes to one's next door neighbor, the scenario is quite dismal and disappointing.
Today in Kashmir, our next door neighbor who deserves our first preference remains unfortunately the last. In times of grief and sorrows, we wish our neighbors to stand by us, but when some feast or function is arranged at our edifices; he is probably the last to be reminded of us. See, what times have come! We don’t get along well with our neighbors. Both in rural and urban areas, we have erected concrete boundary walls between us and our neighbors, and prefer never to be disturbed by them. Visiting them is but a secondary thing; we don't even bother to look towards them—such is the bias, rivalry, envy, and hatred for them we are deep filled with. God forbid, if there is some minute disparity or any embarrassing situations anytime between us and our neighbor, we magnify small matters just to teach our neighbor a lesson. But this all was not the trend with our elders in the yesteryears who besides being not so educated like us; knew their duties towards their neighbors quite well. They never unnecessarily made trivial matters into great issues. They rather had tolerance, much sympathy, lived with peace and harmony, treated each other politely, and always kept safety and security of their neighbors in mind.
The most interesting thing with our elders was that they had learned to live as a community. They had understood the importance of social life. They didn’t live like us—busy with our own families, own matters, full of bitterness, rotten in our own egos and arrogance. They were faithful, helpful, God-fearing and generous. Besides being so kind-hearted to their neighbors, they were also well-mannered and respectable with other communities like Silk and Pandit brothers as well. Today, Kashmir's brotherhood, hospitality and communal harmony is talked so greatly everywhere, and the whole credit for this straight goes to ours elders who have left behind an invaluable legacy for us.
Kashmir being a multi-religious land has generally remained a great example when it comes to celebrating festivals like Eid, Baisakhi, Hareth, Holi, etc. Our elders with great enthusiasm and communal spirit would love to spend time with one another and would often exchange traditional sweets, share festive moments and participate in each other’s celebrations—fostering a sense of unity and togetherness. Their interfaith harmony and cultural exchange strengthened neighborhood bonds, created lasting memories and a deep sense of community. Our elders’ exemplary life with their neighbors inspires us to promote mutual respect, understanding and peaceful coexistence even today.
On a personal note, the memory of my elders' neighbors still lingers warmly in my mind. I recall how, during somebody's demise in our Mohalla, they would come forward devotedly to stand by their neighbors in distress and sorrow. I can't forget that elderly woman whom we lovingly called Ma’amen in the Mohalla. No sooner someone in the village would die than she’d immediately come to console and comfort the mourners. When my paternal grandmother Khatij Ded flattened, I’m still thinking of how she made us calm to eat those boiled eggs she had brought while we cried.
It’s important that I mention that Ma'amen, like exemplary elderly women who were good to their neighbors then, have laid deep imprints on our minds, and will probably take a lifetime to be forgotten. Such elders were indeed rare, benevolent and affectionate. Their legacy, made with unwavering dedication and without expectation for any financial return, continues to inspire and deserves to be remembered with gratitude even today. May God bless their souls and keep their wisdom, kindness and generosity, etc. alive in the hearts of those who cherish their invaluable contribution to society.
Manzoor Akash is Educator and Author from Rafiabad
