Other Side of Elderly Kashmiris
I have often written about the wisdom, experience, and inspiring habits of my elderly Kashmiris in these columns. But today, I want to talk about something else. Many readers have shared their concerns with me about the ill habits of some elderly individuals in Kashmir. I am bringing this up because I believe it’s essential to acknowledge and address these issues.
Like everyone, elderly people have their strengths and weaknesses. I am not here to criticize, but to gently point out some habits that might be causing problems. I am absolutely sure my elderly friends will understand that this is a constructive and healthy criticism, and they will consider my words.
Last Saturday, I traveled on a mini bus from Dangiwacha to Baramulla. I saw two elderly passengers arguing with the conductor over the fare, which made me realize that this is a common issue. People were amused, but it made me think about other harmful habits (when I got home in the evening) that need attention. So in the following paragraphs, I thought to highlight some of these harmful habits, hoping that our elderly loved ones will acknowledge and work on them despite showing their dissatisfaction or grudges. My motive is to help them live happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives. Not that they will get disappointed on my worth mentioning opinions.
Let’s begin with health, the biggest wealth, we all believe. There are even today so many elderly citizens living with us who quite usually smoke hookah (Jajeer) tobacco abundantly, at home, believing it a good habit and a dose to digest their food, but it’s not so. Smoking is a common habit among elderly Kashmiri men and women, which can lead to respiratory and cardiovascular issues. World knows that smoking tobacco is a harmful habit that needs to be avoided as early as possible. So many elderly Kashmiris, especially women, have a fondness for Naswar (a type of snuff), a habit that’s often linked to oral health issues and other health problems.
Next comes, the habits that are often linked to cultural traditions, lifestyle, and limited access to healthcare. One habit that’s quite common is backbiting and gossiping. Some elderly people love to discuss others’ affairs, thinking it’s a way to stay informed and connected. However, this can be hurtful and is considered a serious issue. It’s best to avoid it. In winter, many elderly people tend to stay idle and spend their leisure time at shop fronts, thinking it’s a good way to pass time. Unfortunately, they often end up talking about others and gossiping, which isn’t acceptable. No religion does permit this. If this is happening in your neighborhood, local mosque committees should gently remind them that it’s not a good habit. An idle man’s brain is a devil’s workshop. Let’s encourage our elderly to spend their time more positively.
In villages, elderly women often carry heavy loads like firewood or water, which can strain their backs and joints. Some elderly people also use traditional fire-pots (Kangri) under their Pheran in winter, which can cause skin cancer. Many elderly Kashmiris also don’t move around much, which can lead to health problems like diabetes, high blood pressure, and joint issues, etc. Some might also self-medicate or rely on traditional remedies without consulting doctors, which can be risky.
Cooking with traditional methods, like mud Chulhas or bakers’ ovens (Tandoor), can cause indoor air pollution, leading to breathing problems. Many elderly women have suffered from respiratory issues due to this. While food cooked on a chulha may taste good, it’s essential to consider the health risks. Some elderly women still insist that their daughters-in-law cook on traditional chulha instead of using modern appliances like rice cookers. This can lead to family conflicts and even cause relationships to break down.
A wise saying goes, “Baejarus Manz Chhe Insan Ya Tethan Ya Methan’ (In old age, one either becomes sweet or bitter). Unfortunately, some elderly people become short-tempered and argue over small things. They might even dismiss others’ suggestions, thinking they are superior. As family members, it’s our responsibility to gently guide them on how to interact with others, especially those who are younger or less experienced. We should help them understand the changing times and surroundings, so they don’t get frustrated or argue unnecessarily. By doing so, we can help them enjoy their golden years with dignity and peace.
Recently, a good friend of mine shared a concern with me about his elderly parents who have a habit of consuming too much sugar and salt, which is bad for their health. My friend has tried to explain this to them, but they don’t seem to listen, he said. They are prioritizing their cravings over their health, and it’s worrying him.
We all know someone who is dealing with this issue. It’s a common problem in many households. The sad part is, as a society, we haven’t done much to change this. But honestly, if we all pitch in and do our part, we can make a big difference in the lives of our elderly loved ones. If someone in your family or neighborhood takes the initiative to help, let’s support them. Together, we can help our elderly loved ones adopt healthier habits and live better lives. Come; let’s respect and love them, and see them happy and work together to adopt healthier habits among our elderly so that they live life’s golden years with dignity and joy because their experience and wisdom are invaluable to us.
Manzoor Akash, educator & author, is a regular voice in GK’s Senior Citizens’ Lounge
