Of Pedagogy, Peers and Pupils: A Peep into the Past

Ever since I had uneventfully tried as Head of the Maths Dept. here at KU, Srinagar to get late Prof. Qazi Gh. Mohammad Sb to agree to be felicitated upon his retirement from active service in 1995- which, however, he was loath to be part of – this particular event that was held today on Oct.18^th, 2023 to felicitate as many as six of us who have retired from active service over the past few years is the first of its kind since then.

I would like to thank the HOD Maths and his colleagues for this initiative. That was indeed a great occasion which had also provided a unique opportunity to meet and connect to a hundred plus odd alumni of the department who had turned up and who have, in the meanwhile, gone on to achieve notable success in their careers.

It’s sad that two of our dear former colleagues are no longer with us on this occasion –Prof. Aziz Sb. and Dr. Qazi Dawood Sb. We lost both of them to deadly health conditions in 2017 and 2020, respectively and pray for their souls to rest in peace.

Whereas no one from Aziz Sb’s family was available to represent him at the event, we are thankful to Prof. Fozia Qazi who had kindly agreed to be with us to represent her brother Dr. Qazi Dawood on this occasion, as she did.

On the lighter side, I wish to add that the fact of six faculty members being bid formal goodbye upon their retirement would give an impression that a department with six teachers gone from its tally in one fell swoop, would expectedly have a faculty strength of something like 40-50 members on its teaching staff, little knowing that right now the department is already woefully short on the permanent teaching faculty which is now being managed by a measly faculty of three permanent teachers aided by a few contractual teachers to run the show.

Sadly, that’s more or less similar in many other university departments, not excluding in the degree colleges where the situation is that much worse.

That is a sad reflection on the system which has been derelict in its bounden duty to do its bid to promote merit and capacity building in the higher education sector of Jammu and Kashmir.

In the interest of ensuring quality teaching and research in the university and other educational institutions in the region, it’s time that those overseeing the working of the higher education sector woke up to the need to facilitate the filling of vacant positions and for creating new positions in our teaching/research institutions for highly qualified and dedicated teachers/researchers being appointed against these positions with a view to foster excellence. 

A main highlight of the day-long event had been a panel discussion on the state of mathematics in Jammu and Kashmir where the experts drawn from various segments of the education department participated and brought to light their own share of experiences involving teaching and the students.

The overwhelming consensus of the panel of experts on the possible reasons for the shambolic state of math education in J&K was on the atrocious lack of motivation on part of the teacher, especially at the school level, to share the excitement of learning of and problem solving in mathematics with the students.

That obviously necessitated the desire to engage with the school teachers and to conduct programs in the shape of periodically held outreach activities where the teacher would be exposed to the “big picture” lurking behind (elementary) mathematics by treating them to talks/lectures by the experts.

At a personal level, the event provided an occasion to go back to the memory lane and reminisce about the journey of which my students have been an integral part. This journey had formally started way back in 1981 when I began teaching as a research associate at IIT Kanpur until I was awarded Ph.D. degree in 1982.

From then on, the longest period of thirty two years of my teaching career spanning over four decades was spent here in Srinagar where I had joined as full professor of mathematics at KU, Srinagar in 1991. This also included a stint as Emeritus Professor (2015-18) at KU, Adjunct Professor at CUK (2018-19) and NBHM Visiting Professor at JKIMS, Srinagar (2020-22).

Prior to that, I had taught at AMU, Aligarh, first as an assistant professor (1981-1986) and then as associate professor (1986-1991) at its department of mathematics. It was gratifying to note that a reasonable number of my former students who I had taught in these institutions over the years had shown up at the event. That indeed was a moment when I felt the pangs of nostalgia.

Though this is not the occasion to share the finer details of the story of a career that spans close to four decades in the many maths departments in and outside my home state of J&K, I wish to make a brief mention of a career that I have been a part of and that has shaped and influenced my life in an innumerable number of ways.

I feel so privileged and thankful to God for the great luck of having landed in a profession that was, and continues to be, my drumbeat that is compatible with my interest, thinking, liking and the temperament which has been for a life of cloistered anonymity as opposed to one of excessive visibility that I tend to abhor personally.

I can’t thank my destiny enough for being associated with mathematics that has undoubtedly been a source of immense joy to me. The act of being involved in the learning, thinking, teaching and contributing one’s own little bit to mathematics has been a source of unbounded joy and delight that I can’t even begin to express in words.

It’s indeed a great blessing being in the splendid company of a great author, a great scientist or a mathematician through their work that one happens to be reading and thinking in the solitude of one’s study. It has indeed been a great stroke of luck for being involved in a profession that has always been closest to my heart.

But there is a flip side to it as is expected to be the case with everything that brings us joy, peace of mind and a certain level of contentment. In the instant case, that has been in terms of a grim picture involving the frustration, despair and the inevitable regrets that one cannot help contending with during the course of a teaching/research career.

In the long journey of life and the professional part of it in particular, there are obstacles, hiccups and moments of doubt that occasionally act as a spanner in the works. I am not here to claim that I have no regrets in life as may surely also be the case with some of those involved in various activities.

Like most of us, I have been having my own share of remorse that I must confess I have had to contend with for the better part of my professional life. Let me hasten to clarify that it has never been the academic discipline that I have chosen, tried to learn and taught all my life, or the workplace and the colleagues there that could have been the (chief) source of my regrets.

To be sure, there certainly was a phase in my professional life when the workplace was literally turned into a living hell by some colleagues who were wilful, sometimes even toxic in their attitude and conduct. But that was during the beginning years of my teaching career at AMU where the junior faculty – the same age group as I – were uncomfortable with the thought of me as an outsider to the system having been appointed against a permanent position, even as they were left out of reckoning for the position in spite of being ‘insiders’ and so, “more deserving” of the assignment! This toxic atmosphere had prevailed for five long years till I was promoted to the next senior position as associate professor (then called Reader) against an open post that things began to fall in place and I could pursue my work without much fuss and hassles. Again, that was not on account of the choice of the workplace I had opted for, but that I see as an inevitable side effect of a career where such traits as peer pressure, mutual rancour and bile may not be ruled out.

Having said that, perhaps my greatest regret has been the thought that I have not been able to deliver to my potential and to get the best of myself in my professional life, even as I think I had good reasons to imagine that I had it in me to do better, far better than whatever little I have been able to achieve as a mathematician.

Of course, the environment at the workplace involving the colleagues and the students may not be ruled out as a factor, but in all honesty, I hold myself entirely responsible on that count.

That surely has been a reason for my honest confession that my professional career has perhaps not been a “success story” in the conventional sense of the term. However, if success is to be measured, as I think it should, in terms of the joy and satisfaction that my engagement with mathematics has given me, then I see myself as largely successful. 

In conclusion, let all of us, those who have retired in the last few years and those who will retire in the years ahead, bear it in mind that retirement does not have to mean having ‘tired’ and to sit back and do nothing.

As we learn, the recipe for a satisfying, fulfilling retired life is not to rest, lest you rust, but to continue the good work carried out during one’s active service, of course as long as the health would permit.

What has pleasantly surprised me post retirement is the realisation that life after retirement could be, and indeed has been, far more fruitful, fulfilling and rewarding, considering that in this latter phase of life when one is no longer encumbered by distractions on account of what are generally inane chores including the rigmarole of administrative commitments and involvement in the corporate life of the university, it’s possible to reconnect to mathematics with renewed vigour and to begin learning, and if possible, contributing to those parts of it which were always on the table waiting to be pursued, but never seriously taken up for reasons mentioned above.

The point is that most of what we tend to pass for a meaningful academic pursuit as we double up as an academician-administrator is no more than an ineffective, uneventful distraction in terms of the value it adds to our lives. 

This is partly because in the current scheme of things as it prevails in the Indian university system, more often than not it so happens that a certain policy decision that was contemplated framed and rolled out for implementation by the academician-officer is  shelved and consigned to the oblivion immediately after he/she had demitted the office.

Lastly, I wish our colleagues in the fraternity of retired teachers a long, happy, healthy, peaceful and a fulfilling post retirement life and to continue to contribute by reaching out to our gen-next by providing the much needed guidance and advice to them who would greatly benefit from their mentorship.

Prof. M. A. Sofi (R), Department of Mathematics, Kashmir University