Love Yourself
In the whirlwind of life, it’s easy to get caught up in caring for others, sometimes forgetting the most important relationship of all—the one we have with ourselves. Self-love is the foundation for a fulfilling and happy life. Self-love is the foundation of all other relationships, and when you truly love yourself, you’re in a better position to experience and give deep love to others.
Self-love is exactly as it sounds—it’s love for yourself and having an interest in your own wellbeing and happiness. The idea of loving yourself isn’t just a ‘feel-good’ concept—it’s essential for mental health. Research shows that self-compassion is linked to lower stress, reduced anxiety, and even improved physical health. People who actively practice self-love tend to set better boundaries, build stronger relationships, and experience less burnout.
Self-love is important because the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for how you deal with every aspect of life: your bonds with others, the way you handle challenges, and how you celebrate joys. When you’re kind and understanding toward yourself, you’re better equipped to navigate life’s ups and downs.
Self-love is often overlooked, but it’s essential for building confidence, resilience, and happiness. When we embrace who we are, flaws and all, we become empowered to live life authentically. “To love yourself is to understand that you don’t need to be perfect to be good enough.” This powerful self-love quote reminds us that our worth is not tied to our achievements or appearance, but to our inherent value as individuals. Embracing self-love allows you to live with a deep sense of inner peace, which in turn enables you to show love to others in a meaningful way.
Life is a voyage of self-discovery. To be enlightened is to go within and to know who and what we really are, and to know that we have the ability to change for the better by loving and taking care of ourselves. It’s not selfish to love ourselves. It clears us so that we can love ourselves enough to love other people. We can really help the planet when we come from a space of great love and joy on an individual basis. The Power that created this incredible Universe has often been referred to as love. God is love. We have often heard the statement: Love makes the world go ’round. It’s all true. Love is the binding agent that holds the whole Universe together.
When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin. Loving yourself is a very simple premise but not simplistic, and the simple things are usually the most profound. So many of us hide from ourselves and we don’t even know who we are. We don’t know what we feel, we don’t know what we want. It is imperative that you give yourself the gift of yourself.
When we talk about loving ourselves, we mean having a deep appreciation for who we are. We accept all the different parts of ourselves—our little peculiarities, the embarrassments, our predilections, the things we may not do so well, and all the wonderful qualities, too. We accept the whole package with love and that too, unconditionally.
In the Piscean Age we looked “out there” for our saviour: “Save me. Save me. Please take care of me.” Now we are moving into the Aquarian Age, and we are learning to go within to find our saviour. We are the power we have been seeking. We are in charge of our lives. If we are not willing to love ourself today, then we are not going to love ourself tomorrow, because whatever excuse you have today, you’ll still have tomorrow. Maybe you’ll have the same excuse 20 years hence, and even leave this lifetime holding on to the same excuse. Today is the day we can love ourself totally with no expectations.
We are in the midst of enormous individual and global change. All of us who are living at this time chose to be here to be a part of these changes, to bring about change, and to transform the world from the old way of life to a more loving and peaceful existence. Love is something we can choose, the same way we choose anger, or hate, or sadness. We can choose to forgive someone who has hurt us and begin to finally heal. We can choose to be grateful for what we have. We can choose love. It’s always a choice within us. Let’s begin right now in this moment to choose love. It’s the most powerful healing force there is any.
Unfortunately, many of us will not love ourselves until we lose the weight, or get the job, or get the raise, or the boyfriend, or whatever. We often put conditions on our love. But we can change. We can love ourselves as we are right now! If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How do I love myself?” or wondered what the actual meaning of self-love is, you’re not alone. Many of us were never taught how to speak to ourselves with compassion, how to set boundaries that honour our needs, or how to practice everyday self-respect. But it’s never too late to build a more loving relationship with yourself.
Learning how to love yourself can feel unfamiliar—especially if your inner-voice leans more critical than kind. But here’s the truth: self-love isn’t something you’re born knowing how to do. It’s something you learn. And like any meaningful practice, it takes time, intention, mindfulness and a lot of patience. Developing self-love doesn’t mean you’re selfish or self-centred. It means learning to treat yourself the way you’d treat someone you care deeply about—with gentleness, understanding, and care. Whether you’re struggling with self-worth, navigating difficult emotions, or simply trying to reconnect with the real you, there are actionable ways that help you practice self-love in real time. From building self-awareness and setting healthy boundaries to practicing forgiveness and celebrating your wins, these lines support your growth. Start small, stay consistent, and trust that loving yourself is not only possible—it’s one of the most empowering things you’ll ever do.
Loving yourself isn’t a switch that you turn on or off. It’s a practice that takes time, commitment and, practice, to cultivate. For many of us, the idea of loving ourselves feels out of reach. That’s why it’s often helpful to break the concept of self-love down into its distinctive elements — including self-trust, self-compassion, and self-awareness. This can make it easier to start developing a self-love practice that feels achievable and manageable.
Stop comparing yourself to others. We’re socialised to be competitive, so comparing ourselves to others is natural. But it can be dangerous. There’s just no point in comparing yourself to anyone else on the planet because there’s only one you. Rather, focus on yourself and your own journey. The shift of energy alone will help you feel free.
Don’t worry about others’ opinions. In that same vein, don’t worry about what society thinks or expects of you. You can’t make everyone happy, so this is a waste of time and will only slow you down on your journey to being the best you.
Allow yourself to make mistakes. We’re told again and again from a young age, “nobody’s perfect, everyone makes mistakes.” But the older you get, the more pressure you feel never to fail. Cut yourself some slack! Make mistakes so you can learn and grow from them. Embrace your past. You’re constantly changing and growing from who you once were into who you are today and who you will be one day. So, forget about that voice in your head that says you need to be perfect. Make mistakes — lots of them! The lessons you’ll gain are priceless.
Remember, your value doesn’t lie in how your body looks. This is fundamental! So many things in the world want to distract you from this powerful truth. Sometimes, even your own internalized sexism affirms your thoughts of inadequacy. You are valuable because you are you, not because of your body. So, wear what makes you feel good. Whether it’s a lot or a little, wear what makes you feel confident, comfortable, and happy.
Don’t be afraid to let go of toxic people. Not everybody takes responsibility for the energy they put out into the world. If there’s someone who is bringing toxicity into your life and they won’t take responsibility for it, that might mean you need to step away from them. Don’t be afraid to do this. It’s liberating and important, even though it may be painful. Protect your energy. It’s not rude or wrong to remove yourself from situations or the company of people who are draining you.
Process your fears. Like erring, feeling afraid is natural and human. Don’t reject your fears — understand them. This healthy exercise can really help with your mental health. Interrogating and evaluating your fears helps you to gain clarity and unmask issues in your life that were causing you anxiety. That, in turn, can help relieve some — if not all — of your anxiety.
Trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself. We so often doubt ourselves and our ability to do what’s right, when most of the time we do know in our hearts what’s best. Remember that your feelings are valid. You’re not losing touch with reality. You know yourself better than anyone else, so be your best advocate.
Take every opportunity life presents or create your own. The timing is never going to be perfect for that next big step in your life. The setup may not be ideal, but that shouldn’t hold you back from striving for your goals and dreams. Instead, seize the moment because it may never come back.
Always put yourself first. Don’t feel bad about doing this. Women, especially, can grow accustomed to putting others first. Although there’s a time and a place for this, it shouldn’t be a habit that costs you your mental or emotional well-being. Find the time to decompress. Without decompressing and recharging, you can put serious strain on yourself. Whether it’s spending the day in bed or outdoors in nature, find what helps you decompress and dedicate time to this.
Feel pain and joy as fully as you can. Allow yourself to feel things fully. Lean into pain, revel in your joy, and don’t put limitations on your feelings. Like fear, pain and joy are emotions that will help you understand yourself and ultimately realize that you are not your feelings.
Be bold and exercise boldness in public. Get into the habit of speaking your mind. Boldness is like a muscle — it grows the more you exercise it. Don’t wait for permission to take a seat at the table. Join the conversation. Contribute your thoughts. Take action, and know that your voice is just as important as anyone else’s.
See beauty in the simple little things. Try to notice at least one beautiful, small thing around you every single day. Make note of it, and be grateful for it. Gratitude not only gives perspective — it’s essential to help you find joy.
Be kind to yourself. The world is full of harsh words and critique — don’t add yours to the mix. Speak gently and kindly to yourself, and don’t call yourself mean things. Celebrate yourself. You’ve come so far and grown so much. Don’t forget to celebrate yourself, and not only on your birthday!
Self-love may not happen overnight. But with time, it will settle itself into your heart. Yes, it might be hard at times, but you’ll look back on these moments and see how they were stepping stones on your journey to being the best you.
Bhushan Lal Razdan, formerly of the Indian Revenue Service, retired as Director General of Income Tax (Investigation), Chandigarh.
