Lessons from Our Elderly Women

The strength of a woman is not in her physical form, upbringing, wealth etc. but in the depth of her love, courage and resilience of soul woven from the threads of compassion, fortitude and diligence. But when as a sympathizer of these elderly women, I look around and compare their lives with the women now. I am totally left with a series of sighs that I let out too often while observing the women in present times.

I am undoubtedly inspired by the elderly women in the society. Though very least of such figures are now living with us, yet, their inspirational stories have lessons of courage, hard work, determination and perseverance for all of us. Not merely a reminder of their un-deterred spirit but this humble article is a powerful tribute to them as unsung heroes whose legacy of virtue, tireless efforts, and patience is weaved together with pride.

Indeed were our elderly women the pillars of courage, wisdom and tolerance. From dawn till dusk, they kept themselves busy with diverse household chores, at a time, when prosperity hadn’t graced Kashmir valley. They had a unique lifestyle, believed in pursuit not in idleness, lived simple life and faced hardships in their time. Never coming up with any complaints; they instead had learnt to accept life’s all challenges with a smiling face.

What kept our elderly women fit through out their lives was their association with different household tasks besides their inclination towards traditionally skilled crafts that included knitting, spinning, needle work, weaving grass items, and preserving food using traditional methods for later consumption, etc. They bore the hardships of joint families with happiness, and that’s definitely what kept them active eve in their ripe old age besides being socially attached, friendly and loving.

Often, we come across people saying, “Prene Zayen Asae Raetch Te Mehanti” (old women were virtuous and hard working). And that’s cent percent true. However, in contemporary times, the women can’t vie with them. They would fetch water from distant Yarbals (a pond side meeting place) in earthen pitchers in all seasons; worked in the fields with men other than a series of domestic duties including maintaining the kitchen gardens.

Our elderly women were independent and self-supporting. There were no machines then that could facilitate them. They rather believed in physical work outs, always. Something that kept them going, and saved them from stress, slothfulness and lifestyle ailments like cholesterol, thyroid, fatty-liver, disc problem, breast cancer, PCOD (Polycystic Ovarian Diseases), and many other diseases that are running amok around the society in these times.

Unlike them, the-present-day women are machine matched. And, despite too many resources available, they grumble every other day that things are not working well. Somebody please tell them that our elderly women had not facilities that they have.

In a world seduced by the allure of modernity, where one touch gadgets reign supreme, our elderly women burnt Dambur (chulha) to cook food for big families, and that stands as a testament to a simpler time where the rhythm of life was measured by the crackle of its fire and the scent of slow cooked meals wafting through the air. They faced such hardships which modern women even can’t think of.

Of how many examples of tough times can one quote here? From grinding flour in an Ath-e-Gratte (hand mill) to pulverizing spices, etc. in the courtyards by dint of Kanz-te-Mohl (mortar and pestle), they did all sorts of struggle; thinking that work was worship and rest was rust. Having least knowledge about hospitals, medicine and doctors, etc; they relied only on the pure home-made food items and what was directly obtained from the nature.

In fact, I have heard my stalwart maternal grandmother Zoon Ded praying frequently to Allah (SWT) loudly, “Khudaya Aur Zuv Te Dour Kotte Deyeze” (Oh! Allah bless me with good health and strength). Same was the case with other elderly women who were the paragons of patience, virtue and hard work. Their selfless dedication towards their families and unwavering commitment in the face of adversity serve as a shining example to all of us even today. Let us strive to imitate their remarkable qualities and honor their legacy.

Manzoor Akash is educator and author from Rafiabad