Let's again talk

The most important thing in all human relationships is conversation, but people don’t talk anymore, they don’t sit down to talk and listen. They go to the theatre, the cinema, watch television, read books and above all are busy on their cell phones but they almost never talk. If we want to change the world, we have to go back to a time when warriors would gather around a fire and tell stories, writes Paulo Coelho.

There is no doubt  that cell phones and internet have drastically changed our society. They affect the way we transact, nurture relationships, bond with our children and socialize with friends and family. For the Gen Z, the ubiquitous nature of cell phones is a given.

Our generation vividly remembers how different life was before  technology  took over. Back in our college and university days (even when cellphones were available) our favorite mode of communicate was “in person”.

Fast forward a decade and everything seems to have changed. The late millennials and Gen Z have a stronger connection with technology than any previous generation. It makes sense that they would; they grew up alongside the internet and smartphones.

Experts in all things digital, they do have an advantage when adopting and deploying the latest workplace technologies to drive results. But this affinity for technology ironically is the source of what many deem to be this generation’s greatest weakness: impaired communication skills.

Since all they are comfortable with is digital communication especially Texting, they seem to be clueless when it comes to non digital  tete a tete. Oftentimes the interactions in person feel awkward and unnatural because they cannot maintain the flow of a real spontaneous conversation. Their conversations “flow” only when they are texting ( only after having thought out what to write).

This is probably because when most of our communications are virtual we get used to being in a constant state of control and lose our ability to be vulnerable. This communication pattern makes it hard to let our guard down during a conversation. Furthermore text messages many a time lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings.

Because auditory and visual conversational cues are lacking in text messages, it can be easier to misconstrue a gentle sarcasm or humorous comment as a rude remark . This in turn can affect both personal and professional relationship. Hanging out, as we know it, is a thing of the past. Even when they do, it is not  without their phones in hand.

“No man is an Island”, goes the saying. We all need family and friends so as to face different life experiences. We derive sustenance and strength from our relationships. And a key ingredient to any good relationship is communication.

Today we lack that with even our closest friends. Personal interaction is being washed away and the significance of a real conversation is diminishing. If this generation desires to forge meaningful connections, it must stop settling for “everything digital “.

Communication and everything that it entails can improve with practice and real life experiences and connections. We as elders, teachers and parents must help this Mute Generation to Unmute, Communicate and engage with real world; the one outside Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram faceless followers because  “much much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid”.

By Rehana Bhat

Rehana Bhat is Senior Assistant Professor English , Islamia College of Science and Commerce Srinagar.