In All Things Be Men

Today is International Men's Day or (IMD) which is observed worldwide to acknowledge the positive value that men bring to their families and communities and to recognize their contributions towards the society in general. Today we celebrate the masculinity and manhood that schemes and secures everything, from a family to a nation. This day is marked in around 80 countries across the world. The theme for 2024 is "Men's Health Champions" which calls for improvement in men's health and well-being.

Some of the broader goals of IMD include, encouraging positive role models among men, advocating for a more inclusive society by teaching boys the values, character, and responsibilities of being a man and leading by example to create a fair and safe society.

Those who have studied the subject in depth infer that a boy and a girl have dissimilar advantages while growing up as adults. After taking birth, a girl stays in constant connection with the mother throughout her life owing to same biological make up, puberty pattern and domestic duties. With an uninterrupted access to the greater source of peace and calm, the mother; the girl rarely tries to seek a role outside unless motivated by some other factors.  The boy on the other hand falls into a communication gap due to his different design of nature.

Though the mothers keep filling our lives with love, wisdom, and boundless strength; the boy is any way, the other gender. He is in a little dilemma after getting distanced from his mother at a certain age for being distinctively different from her. Ever wondered why do the boys swear in the name of their mothers? The common phrases, maaji hinz derai or aaye shapat as they say elsewhere, are not to be taken so for granted. It reflects the disconnect, within. According to experts, delinking from the mother is one of the main reasons that a boy seeks different roles outside, to fill in the gaps of love, warmth, compassion and companionship. It serves as a precursor to his progress. He begins to get involved with the society. The boy is supposedly sound, mechanically and technically. Man and machine are considered to be inseparable. He lays the roads, erects the buildings and bridges the surfaces.  He re-sets the gadgets and restores the machines to their normal working order.

He works in the smallest dimensions as a goldsmith and in the large dimensions as an ironsmith.  He delves deep and chases the heights. He navigates across all ranges and realms.  He tricks and trades. He risks and ravages.  He sets and manages. He wins and consolidates. In the words of Jack Donovan; Strength, Courage, Mastery, and Honor are the alpha virtues of men all over the world.” And indeed they are. Man needs the constant feeler that he is needed and truly so. He is the default bread earner of the family, the source of strength to his parents and personifies the pillar of protection for his progeny. In the words of Iqbal, man is

Hafiz-e-Namoos-e-Zan, Mard Azma, Mard-e-Afreen

The protector of women’s honour, the tester of men’s capacities, the rarer of worthy men!

The primary duty of manhood is moral and then intellectual and this is what should essentially distinguish a man from a woman of any charisma or caliber.

Men as poets, as literary, as statesman, as governors, as managers, as traders, as executives, as artists, as entrepreneurs, as athletes, as doctors, as nurses, as teachers, as trustees, as scientists, as researchers, and as different kind of office bearers do find a number of women counterparts in their respective fields. Women are also progressively getting trained as masons, as carpenters, as electricians, as plumbers, as motor mechanics, as truck drivers, as sky divers, as deep miners, as pilots, as astronauts, as soldiers, as musicians, as gymnastics, and much more. Men read, write, comprehend and compose.  So do women and in many instances better than men. But sensible, strong, grilled, graceful, reasoned, seasoned and responsible sons can fetch the needs of a society to a far reaching extent and in diverse capacities.  I do not have a fair idea of the global societies but from a local perspective, the plane of progress of men has a lot derailed and digressed. Men at our place are rarely winning a race or earning any grace. We have had no good news about them in the recent or remote past. The retrograde demands an introspection in the way we are bringing them up.

Back in our homes, men will not hold a hammer in hand to nail a clock or a calendar on the wall. They are unable to place a bulb in its holder. They have no idea of polarities owing to which batteries die soon before consuming their full life. They can’t make up why the washing machine is not working well or why has the heating device been cold for so long.  They don’t give a piggyback ride to their toddlers nor do they repair their toys.  They don’t take them to task of homework and all.  They don’t keep a tool box nearby but adjacent to their bedrooms, there are bulky libraries where great philosophers are shelved in hierarchy.  They need them momentarily to write an impressive facebook post or to deliver a topical talk in office or to make a powerful presentation, without really meaning it much in practice. But they are so ready with their dress and diction.  Their hairstyle is cool. They go by the rule. They are lost in books and boredom. Ironically, their intellect is so inner that it hardly manifests in the exterior. I am reminded of Jaunn Eliya saying

Abb tou nikal aa khud ke andar se

Ghar mein saman ki zaroorat hai

Now come out from within yourself,  there is a need for provisions in the house. 

The impractical book readers are still a better version than booming bikers beating safety rules.

There is a great calling for men-making at our place which was also deeply felt long before by some visiting visionaries. Here is an extract from “Beyond The Pir Panjal: Life and Missionary Enterprise in Kashmir” (1912) by Ernest F. Neve that sheds light on how this ‘man-making’ exercise was carried out:

“The character of the Kashmiri boy is not good. He is often studious, but is usually untruthful, conceited, superstitious, cowardly, selfish and extremely dirty. The motto of this school (Tyndale Biscoe) is ” In all things be men.” The crest is a pair of paddles crossed. The paddles represent hard work or strength, the blade of the paddles being in the shape of a heart reminds them of kindness (the true man is a combination of strength and kindness). The crossed paddles represent self-sacrifice, reminding them from whom we get the greatest example and from whom we learn to be true men.” I mean no offense but just that men be men in all things and wish them good.

Dr. Qudsia Gani, Head Dept. of Physics, Govt. Degree College, Pattan