Elders: The Epitome of Warm Hospitality
In the rich cultural mosaic of Kashmir, traditional hospitality has always stood out. Our elders who were the embodiment of sincere warmth, cordiality, kindness, generosity, friendliness, and care—were the flag-bearers of the cultural code that makes Kashmir a famous civilization all over the world. Honoring and feeding guests was not always a rich culture here, but a deeply held custom that has been passed down through generations—a big part of what makes Kashmiri life so special, shaped over hundreds of years by the region’s spiritual beliefs, history, and close-knit communities.
In every Kashmiri household—no matter how humble or grand, our elders were the exemplars of warm hospitality and generosity. In respecting their guests, they have, undoubtedly, left behind an incredible legacy of their great mehmannawazi amid the silent chroniclers of war and peace, and of changing seasons and vanished eras. Their admirable hospitality still holds the calm of time itself, and their presence exudes an unspoken authority that younger members instinctively recognize and value even currently.
If reverence is the soul of Kashmiri familial life, hospitality or mehmannawazi, is its heartbeat. Here, the arrival of a Pochh (guest) is more than a social event; it is a sacred occasion. It does not matter whether the guest is a distant relative; a neighbor, a stranger, or a pilgrim—the arrival is often welcomed, met with joy, preparation, and a deep sense of duty to make him feel valued and appreciated. No one knocks on a Kashmiri door in vain. As soon as a guest crosses the threshold, a beautiful ritual begins: the Samovar is lit, water infused with saffron, cardamom, and green tea leaves begins to simmer, and platters of local delicacies Kulchas, Bakirkhani, Sheermal, and dried fruits are served with genuine warmth.
What makes Kashmiri hospitality extraordinary is not its opulence, but its intentionality. Even the poorest of families, who may struggle to feed themselves, will offer their best to a guest. In many homes, the guest is served before the host eats, sometimes with quiet sacrifices made behind the kitchen curtain. It is a tradition that springs from spiritual beliefs that in serving a guest, one is serving God. The age-old Sanskrit dictum Atithi Devo Bhava (the guest is divine) resonates here more authentically than in any scripture.
The warm culture of hospitality is undoubtedly something that our elders have left behind for us. While modernity has transformed our lives, mehmanawazi too has improved in the majority of Kashmiri households. However, there are still families of resistance, where its virtues are celebrated and its legacy preserved. In these families, where tradition reigns supreme, the guests are still treated the elderly way—a testament to the enduring allure of Kashmir’s simplicity and tradition.
During festivals or special occasions, this spirit of generosity rises to its full glory in the form of Wazwan, the royal banquet of Kashmir. A twelve to thirty-six course culinary spectacle, it is both a celebration and an offering. Rista, rogan-josh, tabak maaz, marchwangan korma, etc. each dish is prepared not merely to feed, but to honor the guests. The feast is traditionally shared on a large copper platter known as the trami, symbolizing equality and communal bonding. From the ceremonial washing of hands with the tashnari to the final cup of Kehwa, every step is infused with poetry, aesthetics, and ritualized respect. And this all is what our elders have left behind for us.
The synergy between reverence for elders and hospitality is not coincidental, it is symbiotic. Often, it is the elders who serve as the torchbearers of mehmaannawazi. From them, younger generations learn the unspoken rituals of welcome, how to offer the warmest seat, when to bring the tea, and the delicate etiquette of ensuring the guest never feels like a burden. Grandmothers gently remind grandchildren to rise when an elder enters. Grandfathers recall old proverbs that teach the virtue of serving the weary traveler. These values are not taught in schools but in the living classroom of the home.
In villages nestled between orchards and snow-fed streams, and in urban apartments overlooking bazaars and shrines, these customs continue even as the world outside rushes forward. While modernity may bring new challenges and lifestyles may evolve, the emotional infrastructure of Kashmiri culture of hospitality built on respect and warmth, remains remarkably intact.
To grow old in Kashmir is not to become obsolete but to be cherished. To host someone is not a task but a privilege. These enduring traditions remind us that civilization is not measured by material wealth or technology, but by how we treat each other especially the old, and the guest. It is in the warmth of a shared meal, the hush of a listening child at an elder’s feet, the aroma of Kehwa rising in the air that the true legacy of Kashmir’s hospitality breathes.
In a world increasingly divided and hurried, Kashmir’s age-old values adopted from wise and experienced elders, beckon like a quiet whisper through the chinar trees: slow down, honor those before you, and never let a guest leave empty-handed or unblessed. Come; let’s respect this inheritance of our elders, and pass it on, in its pristine condition, to those who have come after us.
Manzoor Akash is educator, author and regular contributor to GK’s Senior Citizens’ Lounge
