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Elder Abuse: A Haunting Reality in Kashmir

Having treated more than 30,000 seniors in both the government and private sectors, I have encountered a heart-wrenching truth through their medical histories
05:19 AM Jun 16, 2024 IST | DR. ZUBAIR SALEEM
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Every year on June 15th, the world commemorates UN World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. This day serves as a painful reminder of a grim reality—elder abuse. Writing about abuse is always distressing, but it becomes even more painful when we speak of abuse directed at our elders. Elder abuse is not just a term; it is a haunting reality, particularly in Kashmir.

Having treated more than 30,000 seniors in both the government and private sectors, I have encountered a heart-wrenching truth through their medical histories: caregiving at home is a significant concern. In the context of Kashmir, caregiving is predominantly done by adult children. While many seniors appreciate the care and attention provided by their families, a staggering 50% have expressed anguish and pain, revealing that they face elder abuse in one form or another.

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Understanding Elder Abuse

Elder abuse is the mistreatment or neglect of older adults (Parents), causing them harm or distress. It can take many forms, including physical, emotional, financial, and neglect. It is a serious violation of human rights and can lead to severe deterioration of health and long-term psychological consequences. In Kashmir, the issue is compounded by socio-economic challenges and cultural factors that often leave elders dependent on their families for care.

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The Prevalence of Elder Abuse in Kashmir

Through my practice, I have seen firsthand how prevalent elder abuse is in our society. Despite the cultural emphasis on respect for elders, many seniors face mistreatment. This abuse can manifest as neglect, financial exploitation, or emotional and physical abuse. The emotional toll of such treatment is profound, leading to depression, anxiety, and a sense of hopelessness among the elderly.

Caregiving in Kashmir

In Kashmir, the primary caregivers are usually the adult children. While many of these caregivers provide excellent care, the pressures of modern life, economic hardships, and lack of support systems can sometimes lead to elder abuse. The stress of caregiving, combined with inadequate resources and support, often results in unintentional neglect or even deliberate mistreatment.

The most common form of abuse in Kashmir is psychological abuse, also known as emotional abuse. This form of abuse can be particularly devastating for elderly parents, as it can erode their sense of self-worth and well-being. From my experience treating elderly patients, many have disclosed that the primary perpetrators of this abuse are their married sons. When perpetrated by an adult child, the stress exacerbates all physical and mental health problems in seniors.

Here are some examples:

  1. Verbal Abuse:
  1. Intimidation:
  1. Isolation:
  1. Manipulation:
  1. Humiliation:
  1. Control:

Dictating Decisions: The adult child takes control of all decisions regarding their parents’ lives, such as finances, health care, and daily routines, without considering their wishes or needs.

Withholding Affection: They withhold affection or support as a means of punishing or controlling their parents.

  1. Neglect:
  1. Deception:

Other forms of Elder Abuse

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse includes any act that causes physical pain or injury to an elderly person. This can range from slapping, hitting, and pushing to more severe forms like beating, burning, or restraining. Signs of physical abuse may include unexplained bruises, fractures, and cuts, as well as a sudden change in behavior, such as flinching or becoming withdrawn.

Financial or Material Exploitation

Financial abuse occurs when someone illegally or improperly uses an elder’s funds, property, or assets. This can involve stealing money or possessions, forging signatures, coercing the elder into signing documents, or misusing guardianship or power of attorney. Indicators of financial abuse include sudden changes in bank accounts, unexplained withdrawals, and missing belongings.

Neglect

Neglect is the failure to provide necessary care, assistance, or attention to an elderly person, leading to harm or distress. This can be intentional or unintentional and includes failing to provide food, water, clothing, shelter, hygiene, or medical care. Signs of neglect include poor personal hygiene, untreated medical conditions, malnutrition, dehydration, and unsafe living conditions.

Abandonment

Abandonment occurs when a caregiver or responsible party deserts an elderly person, leaving them without necessary care or support. This can happen in public places or in the elder’s own home. Signs of abandonment include the elder being left alone in unsafe conditions, lack of basic necessities, and reports from the elder about being deserted.

Self-Neglect

While not always classified as abuse by others, self-neglect is a significant issue where an elderly person fails to attend to their own basic needs. This can include neglecting personal hygiene, health care, or living conditions.

Symptoms of Emotional Abuse

  1. Behavioral Changes:

2.Verbal Indicators:

  1. Physical Signs:
  1. Psychosomatic Symptoms:

Symptoms of Neglect

  1. Physical Appearance:
  1. Health Indicators:
  1. Living Conditions:
  1. Emotional State:

Voices of the Seniors

During consultations, many seniors have shared their distressing stories. One senior recalled how his son neglected his health needs. The house belongs to the senior, and his married son lives with him, leading to confusion about who is actually dependent on whom. Another senior spoke of financial exploitation, where family members took their pension, leaving them with nothing for their own needs. An elderly widow lived with her daughter and relied on zakat despite having two sons. Another elderly couple was abandoned in 2016 and has had no contact with their children since then. These stories are not isolated incidents but reflect a broader issue that needs urgent attention.

The Way Forward

Addressing elder abuse requires a multifaceted approach. Awareness and education are crucial. Families must be educated about the signs of elder abuse and the importance of treating seniors with dignity and respect. Support systems for caregivers are also essential. This could include providing holistic health support, respite care, financial support, and counseling services to help alleviate the pressures that can lead to abuse.

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