Dear mother like no other

Born and raised in the heart of bustling downtown Srinagar, my mother would often share with us the poignant tales of strength and resilience that shaped her life. Her upbringing amidst the vibrant streets of the city endowed her with a broad perspective on life, enriched by a tapestry of diverse experiences and interactions. She would recount the joys and struggles of her youth, painting vivid pictures of a world teeming with life and possibility.

Transitioning from the lively chaos of Srinagar to the serene stillness of our village was the first formidable challenge she faced after marriage. Yet, she embraced it with unwavering determination and grace, turning every obstacle into a testament of her indomitable spirit. Her stories, laced with wisdom and courage, continue to inspire and guide us, a legacy of a remarkable woman who met life's trials head-on with a heart full of hope and resilience.

My father was earning hand to mouth and my mother as an 18 year old bride was a pillar of support for him, she stood by him in every proverbial thick and thin. She never complained. She would tell us how she used traditional stove and hearth to cook for the family and how it was a hilarious experience for a city teenager.

How many of you would believe that this shahrich nosh started farming and worked in the paddy fields at the age of twenty along with other village women. The other women from my village would look up to her since she was a pretty young blood radiating warmth and loads of love.

My mother’s kindness and generosity knew no bounds. She quickly became a beloved figure in the village, always ready to lend a helping hand.

Her commitment to our education and well-being was evident in everything she did. She made sure that we had the best opportunities, even in the confines of a rural village, ensuring that we were equipped with the knowledge and skills to pursue our dreams.

My mother had always been curious about life outside Kashmir, particularly the bustling metropolis of Delhi where I live for over a decade now. She visited Delhi to attend her elder son’s wedding few years ago. One of the most profound lessons I learned from my mother was the power of adaptability. Her ability to embrace change and make the best of any situation was truly inspiring. She taught us that life is full of unexpected turns, but with a positive attitude and a resilient spirit, we can navigate any challenge.

Her strength was not just in her actions but also in her presence. There was a quiet power in the way she carried herself, a confidence that came from knowing who she was and what she stood for. She faced life's adversities with grace, never allowing difficulties to dim her spirit. Her strength was a beacon of hope and a source of inspiration for me and for many others.

Even though she is no longer physically with us, my mother’s spirit lives on in the lessons she taught me and the love she gave so freely.

I remember her preparing lunchbox for me every single day ensuring I had a delicious and nutritious home-cooked meal. When I moved to Delhi for further studies, the distance meant I had to take on new responsibilities like cooking and laundry. Despite the physical separation, we maintained our close bond through daily video calls, spending 15 to 20 minutes catching up on each other's lives.

These calls became a cherished part of my routine from 2014 onwards. I also made it a point to visit home once or twice a year, eagerly anticipating the warm embrace of my mother and the comfort of her presence. Before her passing, I was fortunate to spend two months with her in Kashmir due to the COVID-19 pandemic, a precious period that allowed us to reconnect and create lasting memories.

Just five hours before she left this world, we took a walk together in the lawn; little did I know that her soul is all set to fly high in the skies. At the crack of the dawn at around 3:00 am, I called her, “Mummy Mummy”. Till date, she has not responded.

She could meet her grandson only once. She was happy to see her son shouldering the responsibility of a father. Her face would light up whenever she spoke about Azlan, my nephew. In one of our departures from Kashmir, as everyone was busy packing, a hot water tub was spilled on her legs, accidently.

She must have cried bitterly. It must have hurt her. But we learned about it a few days after we reached our New Delhi residence. This incident is a testament to her incredible resilience and the selflessness that defined her character. Even in moments of discomfort, her primary concern was always for her children’s. Her silent endurance in that situation speaks volumes about the woman she was – someone who always put her family's well-being above her own.

Mummy, I miss the travels with you to my Mamu’s place in Alamgari Bazar. Now, the visits feel incomplete. Papa’s life changed considerably after your demise. Losing his beloved partner left him heartbroken. The person who once shared hearty laughs is a silent person now. Among siblings, we often recall how funnily our mother convinced Papa to quit smoking Hokkah. She warned him countless times, telling him she would break it one day if he didn't stop.

True to her word, one day she did break his hokkah into pieces. And all of us supported her. That was the last time we saw him smoking. It was a testament to the love and respect they had for each other, and a clear sign of how much Mummy cared for his well-being. Mummy never consumed beef. We would always make sure to have mutton or chicken for her. It was a small gesture of our love and respect for her preferences.

It is said that not all our wishes are fulfilled. Mummy’s dream to call me Dr. Sageer and see me as a groom remained unfulfilled. That is life. Man proposes and God disposes. All our wishes do not come true. If she was alive today, I could see her eyes welling up with tears of joy. As I wore my gown to be awarded a doctorate, all I wished for was to see if Mummy could be here with me, we could celebrate together.

The author has a doctorate in Biotechnology from Jamia Milia Islamia and currents works at Jamia Hamdard University, New Delhi.

by: SAGEER ABBASS