Crisis of Parental Disrespect in Kashmir

Allah commands us to respect and love our parents by respecting them, honouring their opinions, and dealing them with love and gentleness. “Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of disrespect, or scold them, but say a generous word to them. And act humbly to them in mercy, and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy on them, since they cared for me when I was small” (Quran).

A Reflection on the Current Crisis

Kashmir, known for its stunning landscapes, rich history, and deep-rooted traditions, is witnessing a troubling shift in societal values, particularly in the treatment of parents by the younger generation. Recent incidents of sons disrespecting and even turning against their fathers have sent shockwaves through a society that has long prided itself on its modesty and religious devotion. This change raises a pressing question: Is the Valley losing its traditional values and socio-religious obligations? This reflection explores the factors contributing to this apparent erosion, the societal and religious consequences, and the need to reconnect with the moral foundations that have defined Kashmiri society.

Traditionally, the Kashmiri family structure has been built on respect, love, and strong social bonds, particularly between parents and children. Islam, deeply woven into Kashmiri culture, places immense emphasis on parental respect. The Quran and Hadith are clear in their guidance, with verses such as "And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents" (Surah Al-Ahqaf 46:15) reminding generations of their obligations. Sons, especially, were raised with a sense of duty to care for their parents in old age, a responsibility rooted not only in religious teachings but also in cultural tradition. Family unity and collective responsibility were societal pillars, and parental respect was both a religious and a communal expectation.

Signs of Societal Erosion: Disrespect Towards Parents

In recent years, however, this fabric seems to be fraying. Reports of sons neglecting or disrespecting their parents, particularly in financial disputes, reflect a troubling shift. For a society that has long upheld its religious and ethical values, such incidents signal a departure from its core principles.

One contributing factor is the influence of modernity and globalization. As Kashmiri youth are exposed to a wider array of ideologies, cultures, and lifestyles through social media, education abroad, and economic changes, they may experience a conflict between traditional values and modern aspirations. This is further exacerbated by a materialistic culture, where success is increasingly defined by wealth and career achievements rather than by fulfilling familial or religious obligations.

Economic and Social Pressures

Kashmir, like much of the world, is undergoing rapid economic and social transformation. Political instability, rising unemployment, and growing aspirations are straining family structures. Sons often feel the need to leave home in search of better opportunities, which can weaken familial ties. The shift from joint families to nuclear households has also contributed to the fragmentation of traditional values, leaving elderly parents feeling neglected or abandoned.

The pursuit of wealth has altered perceptions of familial responsibility. What was once seen as an honorable duty is now sometimes viewed as a burden. Many young people, influenced by the pressures of modern life, feel that caring for aging parents impedes personal freedom or career growth.

Another critical factor is the overwhelming influence of media and technology. Kashmiri youth are increasingly exposed to external values that clash with their religious and cultural upbringing. Consumerism, individualism, and self-centric lifestyles are eroding the collective, family-based values that once held Kashmiri society together.

The Disconnect with Religious Teachings

Islam places immense importance on respecting parents, with numerous Hadith and Quranic verses emphasizing this obligation. However, as modern influences grow and economic pressures mount, there is a growing disconnect between these religious teachings and the behavior of the youth. While religious traditions may still be outwardly observed, the deeper values of humility, patience, and respect for elders are being lost.

This raises important questions about the younger generation’s relationship with their faith. Despite the outward displays of religiosity, the core principles of Islam—such as respect for parents—are not being internalized in the same way. Religious scholars and community elders, who once played a crucial role in imparting these values, are losing their influence. Without their guidance, the younger generation is drifting further away from the socio-religious obligations that have long been central to Kashmiri life.

Reconnecting with Values

While it is clear that modern influences are contributing to the erosion of traditional values, the solution lies not in rejecting progress but in finding a balance. Re-establishing the connection between religious teachings and everyday life is essential. Education, both formal and informal, plays a key role. Religious scholars and community leaders must engage with the younger generation in a manner that resonates with their modern experiences, using platforms like social media and youth outreach programs. Teaching the core values of Islam in a way that is relevant to contemporary life can help bridge the gap between generations.

Families, too, must reclaim their role as the primary transmitters of cultural and religious values. Open dialogue between parents and children is crucial. Understanding the pressures of modern life while finding ways to adapt without sacrificing core principles can help the younger generation value their heritage without feeling restricted by it.

Author besides being a Medical doctor at Mubarak hospital , is very active in positive perception management of various moral, social and religious issues