Childhood, not statehood
In times of back-to-back natural calamities that left over 100 people dead in Jammu, Kishtwar, and Kashmir, the chief minister seemed worried about the speed of data on his Jio mobile and fixed-line WiFi, and about being unable to open the microblogging site ‘X’ where he often vents ire against New Delhi without channelling his anger.
“Still struggling with almost nonexistent communication. There is a trickle of data flowing on Jio mobile, but no fixed line WiFi, no browsing, almost no apps, things like X open frustratingly slowly, and WhatsApp struggles with anything more than short text messages. Haven’t felt this disconnected since the terrible days of 2014 & 2019,” the chief minister posted on ‘X’ in the middle of a tragic season of calamities in J&K.
The way he has been demanding statehood and the antics he is trying to pull off, one is not sure whether New Delhi would return statehood to J&K, but if the chief minister is persistent, he may have already gotten back his childhood.
Fortunately, for him, the Lieutenant Governor is dutifully playing the role of escorting him from one event to the next like a patient guardian, explaining things, and occasionally letting him hold the microphone just like an elder letting a child cut the ribbon, but never holding the scissors.
At a time of a disaster like Jammu, Kishtwar, and south Kashmir, one might have expected the chief minister to lead rescue efforts, comfort victims, or at least pretend to care but it seems that the crisis for the chief minister isn’t floods, landslides, or the crumbling infrastructure but his Jio data speed, WiFi woes, slow ‘X’, and bad WhatsApp experience.
People must have been relieved that their chief minister’s biggest trauma is the buffering wheel on his smartphone.
The people in Kishtwar, Jammu, and south Kashmir, many of whom have lost family members, must surely be comforted knowing the fact that their chief minister’s WhatsApp messages were also not loading.
Yes, their houses are gone, but imagine the pain of the chief minister not seeing memes load.
Solidarity comes in many forms.
In J&K where people demand proper electric and water supply, the chief minister’s biggest priority is the speed of data on his smartphone.
Churchill is known for wartime speeches, Lincoln for his Gettysburg Address, and J&K chief minister is known for his ‘X’ posts.
The chief minister continues to demand the restoration of J&K’s statehood.
He demands it every other week.
Unimpressed, New Delhi says, “Maybe later.”
“If you crown a joker, the joker doesn’t become a king, the kingdom becomes a circus,” is a variation of a Turkish proverb, “When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become king, the palace becomes a circus.”
Statehood will be returned someday.
Until then, the chief minister can take comfort in knowing that he has already won back something even more precious: childhood.
If leadership is about priorities, then rest assured, J&K is in safe hands.
After all, if the chief minister can one day conquer buffering, who knows, maybe next he might even try governing.
Until then, J&K remains under airplane mode.
Author is Senior Editor,
Greater Kashmir
