Care for those who once cared for us

Neglected Elders

Ageing is an unavoidable phase. With age, health weakens and the obvious health complications can be controlled with the help of medications and caretaking for elderly citizens who either happen to be our Moul Mouj (father and mother) or Nainin Baedbab (grandma and grandpa). Better than the medication, what proves the best care for elderly at home is undoubtedly the love and support that makes a big difference.

Everyone has to go through old age and physical and mental limitations may come to everyone. Hence, it is imperative to understand that this is normal, and your elderly people need your care just like they provided for you when you were a kid. With age, various physical and mental health complications kick in, and care for senior citizens is better possible when they have a supportive family. They neither need a luxurious lifestyle nor do they want modern life’s delicacies. All they crave is someone who can spend time with them; talk to them everyday and make them feel that they are not a burden.

However, in the present times, the elderly are considered to be a burden, as they are dependable and incapable in several ways. While age can bring down physical capabilities of a person, seeing them as a burden is a cruelty in itself. These elderly, who mostly happen to be our parents and grandparents, deserve utmost love and care like they did for us when we were kids.

Treating elders with love and care at home not only keeps them away from different diseases but it also keeps the home atmosphere happy and blessed besides lifting up their health, strength and makes them feel safe, secure and saves them from boredom of old age.

Amid health care, we must not forget that our elders actually need us. They need us physically, not virtually. They have nothing to do with our palatial houses or modern set up. All they want from us is to spend time with them. Because it gives them a sense of comfort and joy when they are spent time with. They require love, attention, understanding and constant care all the time.

Our elderly are a blessing not a burden. Unfortunate are those who are deprived of this blessing. We realize this only after their death. What is the fun of visiting their graves when we didn’t care about them in their presence? Our future prospects are undoubtedly important—our studies, our job, our family, etc. but not at the cost of our elderly parents or grandparents.  Most of us remain busy with their lives and leave behind their elderly at home who need us the most. Some of us even go to the extent of giving preference to their spouse over their parents. I don’t mean that they should ignore their spouse, but that doesn’t mean also that they will leave behind their elderly parents to bear the brunt.

There are a number of episodes where it has been seen that the elderly are neglected in our society. A son prefers to take his wife along somewhere instead of his elderly parents who need him much. Very late we realize this when our own kids do the same. It is a give and take process. We reap what we sow. Our children are sensitive. And when they don’t see our parents with us. They imitate it and don’t keep us as parents with them—tit for tat.

These elderly people need to be cared, loved, respected and spent time with. Do not neglect them. They don’t want to be isolated and kept caged. They rather want to be with us—respected and cared for. Let’s not forget to take time to be with them and seek their blessings which make miracles in life. I vividly recall my own childhood at Dangiwacha, when elderly were treated with great respect, love and care. As children we never dared to talk or stand before them. Such used to be regarded and esteem. And, when all of sudden we would see an elderly on the road or shop front; we would either stealthily run away or change the route.

Hardly would any college student dare to take a seat in that Sopore bound Govt. bus wherein an elderly citizen was seen standing. Alas! That all dignity and reverence have gone into obscurity. Moral and ethical values seem to have been thrown into the backyard now. Come; let’s spread awareness that these elderly citizens are respected and cared for everywhere as it is our prime responsibility to ensure so.

 Dr Rafeeq Masoodi is former Secretary, Cultural Academy & the Addt’l Director General Doordarshan, Srinagar