A Journey of Gender and Equity
In the present, there’s a focus on advancements in defense rather than on defending the people within the country. It’s no surprise that diverse cultures bring differences in gender roles based on longstanding notions and primitive beliefs. The women of India are thriving and have come a long way, but even today, we see how different social classes exhibit stark disparities. Women in urban areas are making strides and turning their stories into success, but it's concerning when one woman, who might be a peer in age, asks her dorm lady who has three kids and is beaten by her drunk husband to clean her room.
This pulls us back to the reality that we haven’t come as far as we think. The day both women can do as they wish, without one fearing abuse from her husband, and recognizing that she is the breadwinner of the family, is the day we can truly believe we have evolved as a nation.
If on a rainy day, I ever felt that feminine energy wasn't enough to handle a challenge and thought I needed to take on a more masculine approach, my sisters would step in to remind me that some tasks require a woman’s touch. They'd show me that the roles we play in society are not fixed; they’re assigned by people. And because we create society, we get to decide what’s rightfully ours to take on and how we should care for it. The home where I was raised was a sanctuary of empowerment and self-expression.
Unlike many who are taught to stifle their voices or to remain silent in the face of discrimination, my upbringing was defined by the freedom to speak out and challenge unjust norms. My father, a man rooted in the traditions of a village and surrounded by brothers, shattered every stereotype as he nurtured my growth. Rather than enforcing the limitations often imposed on women, he set an example of inclusivity and possibility. He never hinted at discrimination; instead, he lived and worked in ways that demonstrated how a woman could excel in any field whether as an educationist, entrepreneur, or psychologist.
He showed me that dreams are not meant to be confined within the boundaries of imagination but should be pursued and lived with vigor and ambition. His approach was not just about personal achievement but about breaking barriers and setting new precedents.
He involved all of us in his work, and I remember being invited to a one of his official programs on Empowering Young Female Entrepreneurs, where prominent female entrepreneurs inspired me to believe that I am just as capable as any man. Throughout history, women have been discriminated against, but my brother taught me that the world doesn’t run on the outdated notion of being ‘man enough.’ Instead, it operates on the principles and morals one brings to the table. Times have changed, with men staying at home and women becoming breadwinners.
However, this shift isn't always accepted. Some men expect women to work during the day and then manage the household afterward. Society is moving toward a world that's becoming increasingly difficult to navigate. Today, there’s an unrealistic expectation for a woman to excel both at work and at home, which isn’t created by anyone else but us. The world we’re moving toward isn’t based on equality, let alone equity.
Men today suffer as much as women, experiencing a constant ‘fear psychosis,’ as if they are paying for the wrongs committed by men in the past who made life difficult for women. In modern times, men are often appreciated for displaying ‘alpha masculinity,’ forcing them to hide their emotions and always appear strong, ignoring that they are human too. Indian laws, for example, don’t grant men rights over their children until the children reach a certain age. Even then, men must prove that the mother is ‘unfit’ to gain custody. How is it possible that in the 21st century, a man must prove his partner ‘unfit’ just to be considered for custody of his own child?
Men’s rights in revised laws do not truly qualify as rights. According to these laws, a man is first denied his child, and the child is denied paternal care because the law states that a man is to be a provider but within inhumane limits. This ignorance fuels the fear psychosis in men, making them believe it’s hard to trust women. Gender differences are created by multiple factors, often ignoring the consequences when put to the test in real life.
The past saw women being oppressed, leading them to revolt, and in some cases, to view men as adversaries in the fight for equal rights. Now, the tide has turned, with men experiencing similar struggles. Feminism at its core fought for the rights women were denied, but who would have thought it would give rise to ‘pseudo-feminism,’ where some women only seek the benefits without the responsibilities? For example, if a workplace with both men and women has a reservation that the CEO must be female, it undermines the men working there, denying them the right to even dream of earning that position.
Laws shouldn’t be made just in response to issues that come to light; we need to remember that laws are supposed to be ‘for the people and by the people.’
Growing up, my mother enrolled me in the school she had always dreamed of attending as a child. During much of my middle school years, I resented this decision because it meant leaving behind the friends and familiarity I had grown up with. However, looking back now, I feel deeply grateful for the opportunity to attend one of the finest schools in the valley.
The experience enriched my life in ways I didn’t fully appreciate at the time. It brings me immense joy to know that I was able to fulfill part of my mother’s dream while also moving closer to achieving my own aspirations. Attending a school that prioritized educating girls and empowering the nation fills me with pride. In conversations with my mother, I’ve often asked her if she ever wished I had been a son.
Over time, I’ve come to understand that her wish has evolved. Today, her wish is for me to succeed and see my dreams come true. This realization has made me reflect on how cultural and gender roles are shifting, and I see that true change comes from addressing the deeper barriers that hold us back.
While we’ve made progress towards equality, achieving genuine equity remains a work in progress. It’s not just about meeting superficial expectations but about creating a world where real, meaningful opportunities are available to everyone. True progress will come when we move beyond merely adapting to new circumstances and actively tackle the underlying issues that prevent true equality from being realized.
The journey has never been about debating gender differences. It is about ensuring that the future is not constrained by the limitations of the past. Instead, it is a quest for equity, where our focus shifts from being defined as men or women to simply being human.
