A grave social concern

Society

Mir Javid Iqbal

mirjavid.iqbal@gmail.com

Marriage is one of the happiest and most important events in a person’s life. In Kashmir, weddings are part of our culture and tradition. But if we compare marriages of the past with those of today, we can clearly see a big difference. What was once a simple and joyful event has now become very costly and stressful. Expensive jewellery, unnecessary customs, and huge spending have turned marriage into a burden. This has also become one of the main reasons for late marriages in our society.

In earlier days, weddings in Kashmir were very simple. The main focus was always on the religious ceremony of Nikah, which was performed in a pure and straightforward way as taught by Islam. Guests were offered kahwa, kulcha, and some sweets. Even with this simple food, people were happy and enjoyed the day. There was no show-off, no pressure, and no waste. Everyone—both the host and the guests—felt satisfied and joyful.

With time, weddings started to change. New customs were added, and people began to spend money only to display their status. The Kashmiri wazwan, though an important part of our tradition, has now become too expensive and expansive. In most weddings, so much food is prepared that a big portion goes to waste. Families also spend huge amounts on decorations, music, and other unnecessary things.

This change has created a race among people. Every family wants to do more than the other. Instead of being happy occasions, weddings have slowly become a competition.

One of the biggest problems today is the demand for jewellery. Families feel pressure to give gold and other costly items to the bride. For many families, this is not affordable. Still, they spend money beyond their capacity, and in some cases, even take loans from banks. Sometimes even the groom has to borrow money to meet these demands. This unnecessary pressure not only creates financial stress but also delays marriages.

Because of these rising costs, many young men and women in Kashmir remain unmarried even after the age of 40. Families are unable to meet the heavy demands of society. This is creating frustration among the youth and leading to late marriages, which is becoming a serious problem in our society.

Islam teaches us that marriage should be simple. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) encouraged Muslims to make Nikah easy and affordable. The true purpose of marriage is to build love, peace, and a strong family, not to show off wealth. But today, we have moved far away from these teachings. Instead of following religion, we have created customs that make marriages difficult.

Who is Responsible?

The big question is: who will stop these wrong practices? When will people realize that they are destroying their own society? Our religious leaders, elders, and educated youth need to raise their voice. Parents must avoid showing off wealth, and young men should refuse unnecessary demands. Unless we all stand together, this problem will keep growing.

We must return to the simple ways of the past. Marriages should be celebrated with love, faith, and togetherness, not with money and show-off. Serving a simple meal, avoiding waste, and keeping jewellery demands minimal can make marriages affordable for everyone. By simplifying weddings, we can remove the financial burden from families, encourage early marriages, and bring peace back into society. This is the only way to protect our future generations.

Mir Javid Iqbal, Lecturer Botany