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OPINION

Eve's daughter suffers

She deserves a better deal
Mubashir Khadim
Srinagar | Posted : Nov 15 2017 2:03AM | Updated: Nov 14 2017 11:37PM
Eve's daughter suffers
File Photo

“O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste.”

Imagine of a farewell speech you are supposed to deliver in a gathering of your much loved ones and close comrades. You know that you are not going to meet them again. You want to leave a message that shall lead them to an everlasting success. How precisely will you choose your words and imagine of the meticulous precision that you will follow in your speech.

The opening lines you just read in quotes appear in “The Last sermon” of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) which was delivered on the Ninth Day of Dhul Hijjah 10 A.H. in the 'Uranah valley of Mount Arafat' (in Mecca).

When it comes to the claim of being Muslims, we leave no stone of argumentation unturned even if we don’t remember the very basic five pillar of Islam.

For a minute I want my brothers to introspect Rasoolullah (SAW) saying in his last sermon, “O People, lend me an attentive ear, for I know not whether after this year, I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore listen to what I am saying to you very carefully …Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners”

What does treating them well and being kind to them mean? Only giving them a handful of salary for the work they do in homes of their in-laws? Filling her lap with a baby boy or “God forbid” a girl only? The list will go on. How do we really treat her? Is she as Tota mulier in utero, says, ‘woman is a womb’? Is she only a “Womb”?

Remember apart from a “Womb”, she also constitutes a brain to think and a heart to feel.

Her sufferings start from the very moment when doctors proclaim in an operation theatre, “it a girl!” the atmosphere changes as if another atomic bomb has been dropped not only on Nagasaki but on whole the universe. And if it is a boy, it seems as if everybody has turned to be prophetic. “Me aes patah ye aasi netchuv” (I knew it will a boy) and why everyone proves to be “Darvesh” is because nobody wants to think of it being the Other. When the near ones hear of such news, in a reflex they utter, “Telle chui DOUBLE MUBARAK” ! It is a DOUBLE MUBARAK!

When it comes to her personal choices like the approval and disapproval of marriages, if she utters a word, she is considered as a shameless being. Whereas when it comes to pure Islamic teachings, she has full rights over her  decisions. (Here one thing must be kept in mind, saying so in no way means that the choice be based on absolutely unislamic ways of selecting ones partner. The choice must have the base within the limits of Shariah. It must be kept in mind that there are clear opaque curtains between the Mehrams and Non-Mehrams in Islam.)

Allah says in the Holy Quran: “Wives have the same rights as husbands have on them in accordance with the generally known principles. But men are a degree above them, and above all is Allah, the All Mighty, All Wise.” (Surah Baqarah verse 228)

Being a degree higher not in violence but “kindness” and providing her shelter; the shelter of love and affection.

 “And whoever does righteous deeds, whether male or female, while being a believer - those will enter Paradise and will not be wronged, [even as much as] the speck on a date seed.” (Surah Nisaa verse 124)

On the Day of Judgment, Allah is not going to judge according to gender but deeds only. One wonders to see the elevated status of a woman Hazrat Marriyam (AS) in The Glorious Quran. The problem is that we read the literature of feminism from west which itself is in a big trouble since its birth. Our sisters need not to read only the literature like Simone de Beauvoir’s “The Second Sex” or Virginia Woolf’s “A Room of One's Own”. Reading the status of woman in Islam will open the whole new world for both the genders. Islam gives them more secured position than any other religion or society ever has given them.

Divorces and marital problems are taking place in an alarming rise in our valley. We need to curb it now. The parents need to act faster. Both the wife and husband need to bind there relations well. It not only affects their life, but the psychological behavior of their children. And when children are affected, the society breaks into pieces. Wake up! If such insecurity of the holy marriage bond prevails, very soon it will be too late when bonds between the spouses will shatter to the level like in the west they say, “We are not married. We only live together.”